Week 3 - just call me Buttercup (moo)

I never imagined what it would be like to be a cow, or a vending machine. But I have a slight glimpse now. I feel like a milk producing animal, and it's constant like a vending machine. It seems like there is no break - it's just hour after hour of constant feeding. Emi seems to want to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours, and sometimes it takes over an hour to feed her, then pump for 15 minutes. Then 10 minutes later, she wants to eat again! I might as well not ever put a shirt on again!

Bema and Papa came to visit this week. It was a good visit, and they did a great job at spoiling their grand daughter (which is a grandparent's job, right?). We finally put some clothes on Emi, who pretty much stayed in just a diaper for the first 2 weeks because it's been so hot, and she was swaddled the majority of the time. She also got her first bath this week - yes we kept her dirty too (are we already bad parents?). Hopefully this is not an indication that she is going to be the smelly kid at school who always seems to have snot hanging out of her nose. She loved her bath, BTW!

Emi also seems to have come down with a case of baby acne - and I also hope this isn't a preview of her skin during puberty. If so, we might want to start stocking up on the clearasil now. She had her 2 week check-up, and weighed in at 7lbs 4 oz. Still going in the right direction, and she said we could start weening her off the supplement. I think that's going to be easier said than done - because she seems to have gotten used to the milk coming pretty fast and not having to work for her food. I also still need to work on making sure my milk supply is at the level that she needs.

The trick to sleeping at night!
We give her a bottle of formula for her last feeding of the day (usually around midnight, or 12:30am). This gets her to sleep all night, usually until about 5am. What a difference this makes for our sanity, and we figured she was already getting formula, so what the hell? I had a hard time with the idea of giving her a bottle (I was scared of nipple confusion), but a lactation consultant who came to the house courtesy of the state of CA said that there is no way to tell if she is going to get confused until you try it. She suggested giving her one bottle, and then seeing how she latches on the next time. If she seems fine, then there is nothing to worry about. So we did this, and it was the best thing ever!

So week 3 was much better than the first 2 weeks, but we are still learning how to all live in harmony. I have been pooped on, peed on, and seem to change diapers 1 minute before she goes again. She will put us in the poor house just with diapers alone! And what are these crying bouts that she has for no reason at all? We're still learning...

Welcome Home Emi! - first 2 weeks home

The past weeks have been a challenge, to say the least. It's been a steep learning curve, and we have had some breast feeding challenges, and a few nights of very little sleep (did I say very little?).

First, I must say that even with a normal delivery, there is definitely recovery time for moms. Ladies - I highly suggest that you take the ice packs that the hospital offers, and stay on them the entire time you are in the hospital. I didn't like the way they felt when they started melting, so declined them after the first one. Big mistake, which I paid for, for days after coming home because I was still a swollen mess.

The first day home was kind of rough on us. I was still sore in the sitting down area (which didn't really get better for about a week), but Grandma and Grandpa Y met us when we got home, and brought us lunch. They did come to see Emi at the hospital every day, but it was nice to have a welcoming party waiting for us. Emi met Bear and Chewie - Chewie was very curious and wanted to come and inspect her all over; Bear seemed to want to give her space and seemed to go upstairs everytime she was downstairs, and go downstairs every time she was upstairs. Emi was a little jaundiced, so the doctor suggested that we put her in indirect sunlight through a window. It was so hot in the house that day, and I probably should not have done that, but she slept for over an hour by the window, and I think she got dehydrated (which may have caused what I describe in the next paragraph). But we made it through the rest of the day, and Emi woke up around 2am that night (which we expected) and we fed her and spent about 10-15 minutes rocking her back to sleep.

The one thing the hospital tells you to do is count the number of diaper changes you go through the first days. The second day at home had Scott running around town trying to find lighter swaddling blankets and Lanolin cream for my nipples. When he got home we got concerned because it was 1pm and there were still no dirty diapers that day. We called the ped, and they said to bring her in right away. They weighed her, and she came in at 6 lbs, 4 oz. They said she lost 15% of her body weight, and this was not good (but up to 10% loss is normal, so don't worry ladies if that's you). We were then told to start supplementing with formula at each feeding. That night we gave her her first supplement through a syringe in her mouth, and she was not a happy camper all night. She spent the majority of that night crying. From there, the pattern of sleepness nights started (which lasted the first 2 weeks). She would sleep great one night, waking up for just her middle of the night feeding. The next night, she would cry the majority of the night and rocking and swaddling did not help one bit. Then it would start over again with a good night the next night.

The following day we went back to the hospital (I didn't think I would see this place so soon again) to talk to the lactation consultant. She gave us a tube to help with the supplement so that we could do it while feeding, and she told me to start using my pump after every feeding. This should help my milk some in quicker, and get her off the supplement sooner. The next day, Emi had her newborn ped appt, and she weighed in at 6 lbs, 11 oz. This was a good sign that we were headed in the right direction, and she told us to keep supplementing and doing what we were doing. Otherwise, Emi checked out just fine. The ped also showed us the trick of how to tell if her diaper is wet. There is a line on the outside that turns blue if it's wet (because diapers are so absorbent these days you can't really tell if they are wet). I wonder how many wet diapers we just let her sit in because we didn't know to look for the line?

We continued with the pumping and supplementing all weekend, but I wasn't getting much out of the pump at all. On Monday, I called the lactation consultant to see if this is normal (which it was), and she said that we are probably doing just fine if Emi isn't crying of hunger all day. But she did suggest that we come in to get a hospital grade pump until my milk comes in, since it might come in quicker with that pump. So we took yet another trip to the hospital!

So overall, the first 2 weeks consisted of my recovery, changing diapers, feeding, supplementing, and pumping. Notice there is very little sleep mentioned? Scott was able to take the entire first week off work, and also stayed home on Monday. Then he went to work Tue - Fri on week 2. Luckily, my mom was able to come over almost every day to help, but it was a tiring and frustrating 2 weeks. There was a lot of crying going on - both from Emi and from me. Looking back, those weeks may have been worse than the labor itself. No one tells you about these things, and adjusting to a newborn is a lot harder than I ever imagined. Everyone says it gets easier - so let's wait for that...

Emi's birth story

Dear Emi Grace,

Welcome to the world. Your arrival was not exactly as I envisioned it, but you are here and safe and healthy, and know that you are always loved. Your name, Emi, is a Japanese name that means "Blessed with Beauty", and when we saw you we knew that this was your name. Your middle name, Grace, was chosen because it starts with the letter G - in remembrance of very important people in your dad's life: his grandfather George and his uncle Gary.

Your guess date was July 25, and that day came and went and I figured that you just weren't ready to join us yet. Believe me, I did everything I could to try to urge you to come, such as eating pineapple, eating spicy foods, walking, going up and down stairs, and lots of other things. Then a week later at a doctor's appt, they said that your fluids were low and that you needed to come out. This took us by surprise, because we really wanted you to tell us when you were ready - but we went home, packed bags and headed to the hospital.

We checked into the hospital at 7:30pm on Friday, July 31. The nurses were very nice, and they worked with us in answering our questions and doing things as slowly as possible to give us time to decide how we wanted to proceed. They let me eat dinner (McD's cheeseburgers, of course), and even agreed to measure your fluids again, which were still low but on the way up. After a lot of thinking and discussing things, your dad and I decided it was best to go ahead and proceed with the induction. They started me on Cervidil at midnight, and said that I would have this for 12 hours, and then they would most likely start Pitocin at noon on Saturday. I was 1 cm dilated. That night, your dad and I watched most of a movie called "Knowing", and as the movie was playing I could feel some contractions starting, but they were mild and I was able to get about 4 hours of sleep once the movie was over.

On Saturday morning, your dad and I woke up early, and I was still having those mild contractions, which were coming anywhere between 3-6 minutes apart. At about 8am, the doctor came in to check on me, and said that I was fully effaced and about 3cm. They said that the Cervidil worked, and that I didn't need to stay on it until noon. She said the next best thing to do was to break my water, and that it might help bring on the natural labor that we really wanted. So we agreed, and very soon after that I started feeling the contractions start to increase in intensity. They brought in some breakfast. They said as long as the contractions continued and got more regular, there was no need to start Pitocin (which was wonderful news!).

Things were moving along very slowly, and the contractions continued to get stronger and more intense. By that afternoon, I needed to start listening to my HypnoBabies scripts to get me through them. I put my earphones in, put the script on repeat, and tried to relax and work through each contraction. They were coming about every 3 minutes, and Scott said I would look like I was completely asleep at times listening to my scripts, and he would watch the monitor and see that I would have 3-4 contractions like that. There were times that I would start to come out of hypnosis (which is really just a deep state of relaxation for me), but your dad was able to calm me down and get me to relax again. Your dad was an amazing support partner. He made sure that I drank a lot of water, got out of bed often, and kept me as comfortable as possible. I do remember him eating 2 hospital meals though - the nurses brought in lunch and dinner, and said that I couldn't eat it, but that he could help himself.

Your Grandma and Grandpa Y came to visit us at the hospital. By this time, I had no idea what time it was, but I think it was right before dinner time. They didn't stay too long because my contractions were starting to get more and more intense, and they wanted to let us concentrate through them. I think it might have been around 4pm that the nurses checked me and I was 5 cm dilated. What a long day, and not much progress! They came back around 8pm to check again, and I was only 6cm. The contractions started to get more and more intense, and at about 8:30 (I think), I started to feel uncomfortable and a little "pushy". Given that things were moving so slow, I was pretty sure that I only had to go to the bathroom, but your dad asked the nurses to check me again to make sure. I was so convinced that I would still only be 6cm, that I started to think about an epidural. The nurses didn't want to check me, since my water had been broken and they just checked 20 minutes prior, but after some convincing they checked and said that I was fully dilated and could start pushing. So those feelings were a sign that you were ready to start making your way into the world! It was so funny, I remember seeing your dad kick things into high gear - he changed out of his flip flops, took off his sweatshirt and got ready for some action.

I didn't really want to push like you see on TV - lying on your back, with your knees up - so the nurses said they would let me push on my own for a while and come back and check in on me. We did this for about 4 hours, and you just weren't making much progress. Plus, my contractions were starting to die down and get further apart. The nurses came in around 1:30am on Sunday, and said that since things weren't really progressing, they wanted to try to have me push with their coaching. It was uncomfortable to be flat on my back, so they let me stay in a somewhat seated position, and they had me push while they counted. We did this for about 2 hours, and I didn't feel you coming down any further and my contractions were now about 6 minutes apart. The decided to call the doctor, and she came in around 3am. She recommended I lay down flat on my back for the next push, to see how far you were coming during the contractions. Then we talked about our options - either start Pitocin to kick up the contractions again (which would take a half hour or so to kick in), and I asked if a vaccuum was an option. She said it was, and that she thought you were far down enough for her to get. I was a little hesitant to resort to a vaccuum, but I remember wanting you in this world now. If you were as tired as I was, I'm sure you were ready, too. The doctor didn't think it would be a problem, but she did say I had to push really hard because she only had 3 tries with a vaccuum. With the next contraction (which were now 7 minutes apart), I pushed really hard and you crowned. We had to wait 7 minutes, then with the next contraction you were born. You came out crying, and I remember the doctor saying she would not clamp the cord until it stopped beating, but you wouldn't reach my chest yet, so listened to you cry and Scott said you were beautiful and had a full head of hair. Once the cord was clamped and cut, they put you on my chest (where you decided to take your first poop, right on me). You were still crying, but when we talked to you, I think you recognized us and started to calm down. After such a long day, this part of the early morning is kind of a blur. I remember you looking at us with wide eyes, and Scott taking some pictures. After what felt like an hour of us talking to you and the doctor stitching me up (I remember asking her how many stitches since these were my first stitches ever, and she said "too many to count"), they weighed you and measured you and then we tried to get you to eat a little bit. You quieted right down, and all of us decided it was time to take a nap. The nurse, Minda, offered to give you a bath, and she brought you right back to my arms when she was done and we slept for a few hours cuddled together in bed.

You entered the world on Sunday, August 2nd at 3:37am, weighing 7 lbs. 9 oz., and measuring 19.5 inches. We loved you before you joined us, and we love you even more now that you are in our arms. I can't wait to see how our life together unfolds.

Love, your mom and dad

Welcome Emi Grace - our little monkey

It's a little late in posting, but Emi Grace Zelesnikar has finally arrived!
She was born on Aug 2, 2009 at 3:37am, after 27.5 hours of drug-free labor. She weighed in at 7 lbs, 9 oz. and was 19.5 inches. She's a little hairy right now, thus I have nicknamed her our little monkey.

Just a side note: The panda at the San Deigo zoo also had a little baby last week. Why is it that people birth 7-9 lb babies, and a 300 lb. panda births a 4 oz. cub that is the size of a stick of butter? I don't think that's fair!